Post by TheShadow on Sept 6, 2009 10:30:32 GMT -5
www.insidebayarea.com/
By Angela Hill
Oakland Tribune
IT'S FOOTBALL season once again, people, and this means it's time to pump up the pigskin passion. So here are a few exercises to get you in the mood.
1. Grit your teeth in a super-tough, manly way (even if you're a woman) as though someone is digging a bullet out of your thigh with a pair of rusty needle-nose pliers.
2. Bench press a bear or a gorilla or at least your miniature pinscher.
3. Practice guttural battle cries at every opportunity, such as at the dinner table when you might try shouting out things like, "Gohhhh meatlooooaf!"
4. And the most important, manly, super-tough thing you can do to prepare: Consider your wardrobe.
Now you'd think, for Oakland Raiders fans anyway, choosing one's attire for a game would quite literally be a rather black-and-white affair, as in, "Do I wear the black Raiders shirt or the white Raiders shirt?"
Alas, this year it is not so simple. There are shades of doubt and threads of conspiracy. Yes, dress carefully, my friends, especially if you reside in Raider Nation, where a fashion faux pas could mean instant deportation and possibly revocation of your bratwurst privileges.
The problem this season is that, as rumor has it, the team may be wearing white jerseys (usually its "away" uniforms) for the Monday night home opener Sept. 14 at the Coliseum.
If this is true, depending on who you talk to, it is an insidious method for the NFL to try to soften the team's harsh, intimidating, pirate-loving, bad-boy image, and come on, how can they possibly blare AC/DC's "Back in Black" in the stadium as the players run on the field?
Or it's a simple matter of celebrating the team's 50th anniversary (if you count L.A.) by putting the players in vintage uniforms, and apparently the vintage white jerseys look cooler than the old-school black ones because they have silver numbers. And it's all about the look.
Whatever the reason, most fans feel that wearing white at a Raiders home game is pure blasphemy of the highest order. It's like a bride wearing ivory, champagne or, heaven forfend, eggshell on her special day. Hussy.
So in defiance, some are organizing a Black Monday for the opener and they want everyone in the stands — everyone, people! — to wear the black Raiders shirts. Most, but not all, usually do this anyway. But that's not good enough! This is about unity. Camaraderie. One Nation under Al.
But that's not good enough either! They also want everyone to bring something black to wave in the stands, like another shirt, a pirate flag or towel. (I suggested black umbrellas, but someone said that might promote aggravated parasol poking, never a good thing.) They want the whole Coliseum to be one big super giant bowl of a Black Hole that night, sucking the living daylights out of the San Diego Chargers and intimidating the wussy powder blue pants off 'em.
Spearheading the basic-black movement is Oaktown Raider Bob, not to be confused with Raider Rob of Oakland, but both are fans of the Dark Side so it's OK either way. I can't possibly convey Raider Bob's passion on this issue, so I'll let him speak for himself in excerpts from a bulletin he posted on MySpace:
"Raider Nation, who among us hasn't seen the 'Real Men Wear Black' and the 'Real Women Wear Black' shirts????? Tom Cable is going back to OLD SCHOOL with the Raiders and bringing back the 'WE' mentality!!!! Isn't it time for the Raider Nation to RISE UP and show the same 'WE' mentality???? That's right Raider Nation, I'm calling ALL of US out and saying for the season opening Monday night game "... the time has come for all of us to wear BLACK to the game!!!!! Leave the white jerseys @ home!!!!!!"
Certainly, anyone who uses this many exclamation points is a force to be reckoned with. And although Raider Bob is a peaceful person, if he sees a speck of white next Monday, he might go crazy and print out these exclamation points and, oh I don't know, show them to you!
Yet this request is not as simple as it seems on first blush. Apparently there are sub nations within the Nation. Some have gotten their spiked collars and chain mail in a bunch. Some want to wear white for whatever reason, but fear they may be hassled if they do.
"Yeah, you'd think it would be a simple suggestion, but this online feud between Raider Nation citizens over what color to wear is like some bizarro Crip/Bloods feud set to football," said Raider Rob, not to be confused with Raider Bob.
Black? White? Hells bells, the Raiders are so tough, the players could get away with wearing PINK if they wanted to, right? Pink, I say! With little tiaras and unicorns on their helmets and they all could have this totally macho tattoo (http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20202195_20,00.html) of Patrick Swayze as a centaur in front of a double-helix rainbow emblazoned on their burly biceps.
When I suggested this to Raider Bob, he just got kind of quiet. I think I heard his printer going in the background.
By Angela Hill
Oakland Tribune
IT'S FOOTBALL season once again, people, and this means it's time to pump up the pigskin passion. So here are a few exercises to get you in the mood.
1. Grit your teeth in a super-tough, manly way (even if you're a woman) as though someone is digging a bullet out of your thigh with a pair of rusty needle-nose pliers.
2. Bench press a bear or a gorilla or at least your miniature pinscher.
3. Practice guttural battle cries at every opportunity, such as at the dinner table when you might try shouting out things like, "Gohhhh meatlooooaf!"
4. And the most important, manly, super-tough thing you can do to prepare: Consider your wardrobe.
Now you'd think, for Oakland Raiders fans anyway, choosing one's attire for a game would quite literally be a rather black-and-white affair, as in, "Do I wear the black Raiders shirt or the white Raiders shirt?"
Alas, this year it is not so simple. There are shades of doubt and threads of conspiracy. Yes, dress carefully, my friends, especially if you reside in Raider Nation, where a fashion faux pas could mean instant deportation and possibly revocation of your bratwurst privileges.
The problem this season is that, as rumor has it, the team may be wearing white jerseys (usually its "away" uniforms) for the Monday night home opener Sept. 14 at the Coliseum.
If this is true, depending on who you talk to, it is an insidious method for the NFL to try to soften the team's harsh, intimidating, pirate-loving, bad-boy image, and come on, how can they possibly blare AC/DC's "Back in Black" in the stadium as the players run on the field?
Or it's a simple matter of celebrating the team's 50th anniversary (if you count L.A.) by putting the players in vintage uniforms, and apparently the vintage white jerseys look cooler than the old-school black ones because they have silver numbers. And it's all about the look.
Whatever the reason, most fans feel that wearing white at a Raiders home game is pure blasphemy of the highest order. It's like a bride wearing ivory, champagne or, heaven forfend, eggshell on her special day. Hussy.
So in defiance, some are organizing a Black Monday for the opener and they want everyone in the stands — everyone, people! — to wear the black Raiders shirts. Most, but not all, usually do this anyway. But that's not good enough! This is about unity. Camaraderie. One Nation under Al.
But that's not good enough either! They also want everyone to bring something black to wave in the stands, like another shirt, a pirate flag or towel. (I suggested black umbrellas, but someone said that might promote aggravated parasol poking, never a good thing.) They want the whole Coliseum to be one big super giant bowl of a Black Hole that night, sucking the living daylights out of the San Diego Chargers and intimidating the wussy powder blue pants off 'em.
Spearheading the basic-black movement is Oaktown Raider Bob, not to be confused with Raider Rob of Oakland, but both are fans of the Dark Side so it's OK either way. I can't possibly convey Raider Bob's passion on this issue, so I'll let him speak for himself in excerpts from a bulletin he posted on MySpace:
"Raider Nation, who among us hasn't seen the 'Real Men Wear Black' and the 'Real Women Wear Black' shirts????? Tom Cable is going back to OLD SCHOOL with the Raiders and bringing back the 'WE' mentality!!!! Isn't it time for the Raider Nation to RISE UP and show the same 'WE' mentality???? That's right Raider Nation, I'm calling ALL of US out and saying for the season opening Monday night game "... the time has come for all of us to wear BLACK to the game!!!!! Leave the white jerseys @ home!!!!!!"
Certainly, anyone who uses this many exclamation points is a force to be reckoned with. And although Raider Bob is a peaceful person, if he sees a speck of white next Monday, he might go crazy and print out these exclamation points and, oh I don't know, show them to you!
Yet this request is not as simple as it seems on first blush. Apparently there are sub nations within the Nation. Some have gotten their spiked collars and chain mail in a bunch. Some want to wear white for whatever reason, but fear they may be hassled if they do.
"Yeah, you'd think it would be a simple suggestion, but this online feud between Raider Nation citizens over what color to wear is like some bizarro Crip/Bloods feud set to football," said Raider Rob, not to be confused with Raider Bob.
Black? White? Hells bells, the Raiders are so tough, the players could get away with wearing PINK if they wanted to, right? Pink, I say! With little tiaras and unicorns on their helmets and they all could have this totally macho tattoo (http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20202195_20,00.html) of Patrick Swayze as a centaur in front of a double-helix rainbow emblazoned on their burly biceps.
When I suggested this to Raider Bob, he just got kind of quiet. I think I heard his printer going in the background.