Post by TheShadow on Apr 2, 2007 3:44:31 GMT -5
www.realfootball365.com
By Os Davis
The economic balance in America temporarily shifted for the workweek last week, as owners from 32 of the country's largest businesses convened in Phoenix for the annual NFL owners meeting. Bringing you coverage of this event is RealFootball365.com, who attended the meeting thanks to our connections among the rich and famous.
OK, we were there as a press rep.
OK, we pretended we went and made up a bunch of quotes.
Arizonans were doubtlessly thrilled to be able to catch a glimpse of the Indianapolis Colts ' Jim Irsay, who, as an honest-to-Lombardi Super Bowl-holding owner, represented a species rarely seen in this NFL desert. And as Sparky Lyle once observed, the most popular man at an annual owners meeting is the one who fielded the worst team the previous season. Immediately finding himself with lots of very close, very rich friends this year was the Oakland Raiders ' Al Davis, more popular than William Clay Ford Sr. of the Detroit Lions by one game.
After everyone settled in -- no mean feat, considering that among those booking into the Arizona Biltmore Resort & Spa were the 111,967 owners of the Green Bay Packers -- business was gotten down to on Monday morning.
Kicking things off -- so to speak -- was that same old item atop the agenda every year: revenue sharing.
Successfully pretending to be communists, the owners voted 30-2 for "an expanded program of revenue sharing in order to create more financial balance between higher- and lower-revenue teams." Against the new proposal were the Jacksonville Jaguars ' J. Wayne Weaver, who voted "nay" and the Cincinnati Bengals ' Mike Brown, who voted "not guilty."
Tuesday was mostly dominated with discussion of a tougher player conduct policy, sometimes with people other than members of the media. The quotable quotes flew fast and furious on the issue of slapping down the league's bad boys.
"I don't think the general public wants to see overindulged athletes who are getting a lot of money who don't respect the responsibility and the privilege they have," New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft was quoted as saying in a league press release. "I don't think major sponsors want to brand with us if we're not diligent in that area."
Oh, you mean, like Gillette?
Kraft went on, "For example, I don't think that a young man should go out clubbing all night, sleeping around, and irresponsibly producing a lot of children out of wedlock. Hey, wait a minute..."
Commissioner Roger Goodell stated early on, however, that no such policy would be drafted at this meeting. Said policy would be produced by the draft at the end of this month or whenever Koren Robinson is ready to take the field again so as to be immediately re-suspended by the league, whichever comes first.
What is certainly to become known as The Pacman Jones By-Law is eagerly awaited by commissioner and league: Said Goodell, "We believe that we're held to a higher standard. We believe our players and our coaches and everyone involved in the NFL, including the commissioner, should be held to a higher standard."
Another owner, speaking on terms of anonymity while enjoying the Jacuzzi with some fine whiskey, cigar and dual professional female companionship said, "Hell yes, they should be held to a higher standard. Football is America's game and America is a God-fearing country with family values at heart. What're you giggling at, you little love kitten?"
Tennessee Titans owner/Pacman Jones caretaker stated that "I have no comment on Adam, except to say that last season he had 62 tackles, four interceptions, 12 passes defensed, 130 return yards, and four TDs combined. And he didn't shoot anybody. He didn't even know it was a strip club. He thought it was a bank and he came to make a deposit. Yeah, that's it. That's the ticket."
Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, when asked about the troubled Titan shuddered and said, "That Pacman creeps my Texas fanny out, I tell ya. Running around, eatin' up those dots, making that wakka-wakka noise...Damn kids..."
Midweek, the big news was mostly no news, as team owners voted to make instant replay a permanent fixture. (Honestly, who figured this thing was ever going to be stricken from the league rule books?) The vote went 30-2, opposed by William V. Bidwell's Arizona Cardinals (who consistently vote "no" on any changes involving instant replay or the Pottsville Maroons) and the Cincinnati Bengals ' Mike Brown, whose attorneys entered a vote of "nolo contendere."
Voted down on was a proposal to allow the installation of communications equipment in defensive players' helmets. The players' union saw eye-to-eye with the owners on this one, as many middle linebackers complained of hearing eerie voices advising them to switch formation, shift left, take a pay cut and orders in Mandarin Chinese to assassinate Bill Belichick.
Further rule changes include making necessary actually having to cross the pylon with the ball to score a TD in the corner of the end zone (Again, who knew?); a loosening of certain elements of the roughing-the-passer penalty; and making a pass that unintentionally hits an offensive lineman no longer a penalty. Call it the posthumous Drew Bledsoe rule.
By now, it's dusty cliché to refer to the NFL as the "No Fun League," but owners further cemented their reputation as joyless old codgers by deciding Thursday that "spiking the ball or launching it into the air after a play between the goal lines will result in a 5-yard penalty."
A compromise proposal put forth by the Bengals' brain trust which suggested consideration of time off for good behavior be given in each instance was voted down.
Over at NFL.com, Atlanta Falcons General Manager Rich McKay was noted to state, "Really, it had just gotten to the point where we were having celebrations on a 3-yard slant play where the receiver decided to get up and throw the ball 30 yards downfield in celebration of this 'great' achievement."
Note the dismissive quote marks there. Gee, we all can't wait to see McKay run the trivial 3-yard slant in the NFL, eh?
McKay's quote continued with, "We felt that administratively it was causing problems for us..."
Huh? What, somebody's secretary is complaining about paperwork that has to be done because form NFLRACQA (NFL Random Acts of Celebration Quotient Accountancy) #7334-5 has to be filled out every time there's an on-field celebration? Administratively...? Sheesh.
Finally, the feel-good story of the year in the NFL was thusly rewarded with the bestowal of the Sporting News' NFL Executive of the Year award to the New Orleans Saints ' Mickey Loomis. All league execs could be voted for, except seven-time winner Matt Millen, who last year was ruled ineligible for further wins in the category. At that time, the Detroit GM was given a Lifetime Achievement award for his invaluable contributions to the success of 31 NFL teams.
Loomis won the prize by a near-unanimous vote of league owners and fellow executives. Sole opposition came from the Bengals' Brown who, when asked about the decision, took the fifth and went back to patiently digging his way out of his hotel room with a spoon.
By Os Davis
The economic balance in America temporarily shifted for the workweek last week, as owners from 32 of the country's largest businesses convened in Phoenix for the annual NFL owners meeting. Bringing you coverage of this event is RealFootball365.com, who attended the meeting thanks to our connections among the rich and famous.
OK, we were there as a press rep.
OK, we pretended we went and made up a bunch of quotes.
Arizonans were doubtlessly thrilled to be able to catch a glimpse of the Indianapolis Colts ' Jim Irsay, who, as an honest-to-Lombardi Super Bowl-holding owner, represented a species rarely seen in this NFL desert. And as Sparky Lyle once observed, the most popular man at an annual owners meeting is the one who fielded the worst team the previous season. Immediately finding himself with lots of very close, very rich friends this year was the Oakland Raiders ' Al Davis, more popular than William Clay Ford Sr. of the Detroit Lions by one game.
After everyone settled in -- no mean feat, considering that among those booking into the Arizona Biltmore Resort & Spa were the 111,967 owners of the Green Bay Packers -- business was gotten down to on Monday morning.
Kicking things off -- so to speak -- was that same old item atop the agenda every year: revenue sharing.
Successfully pretending to be communists, the owners voted 30-2 for "an expanded program of revenue sharing in order to create more financial balance between higher- and lower-revenue teams." Against the new proposal were the Jacksonville Jaguars ' J. Wayne Weaver, who voted "nay" and the Cincinnati Bengals ' Mike Brown, who voted "not guilty."
Tuesday was mostly dominated with discussion of a tougher player conduct policy, sometimes with people other than members of the media. The quotable quotes flew fast and furious on the issue of slapping down the league's bad boys.
"I don't think the general public wants to see overindulged athletes who are getting a lot of money who don't respect the responsibility and the privilege they have," New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft was quoted as saying in a league press release. "I don't think major sponsors want to brand with us if we're not diligent in that area."
Oh, you mean, like Gillette?
Kraft went on, "For example, I don't think that a young man should go out clubbing all night, sleeping around, and irresponsibly producing a lot of children out of wedlock. Hey, wait a minute..."
Commissioner Roger Goodell stated early on, however, that no such policy would be drafted at this meeting. Said policy would be produced by the draft at the end of this month or whenever Koren Robinson is ready to take the field again so as to be immediately re-suspended by the league, whichever comes first.
What is certainly to become known as The Pacman Jones By-Law is eagerly awaited by commissioner and league: Said Goodell, "We believe that we're held to a higher standard. We believe our players and our coaches and everyone involved in the NFL, including the commissioner, should be held to a higher standard."
Another owner, speaking on terms of anonymity while enjoying the Jacuzzi with some fine whiskey, cigar and dual professional female companionship said, "Hell yes, they should be held to a higher standard. Football is America's game and America is a God-fearing country with family values at heart. What're you giggling at, you little love kitten?"
Tennessee Titans owner/Pacman Jones caretaker stated that "I have no comment on Adam, except to say that last season he had 62 tackles, four interceptions, 12 passes defensed, 130 return yards, and four TDs combined. And he didn't shoot anybody. He didn't even know it was a strip club. He thought it was a bank and he came to make a deposit. Yeah, that's it. That's the ticket."
Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, when asked about the troubled Titan shuddered and said, "That Pacman creeps my Texas fanny out, I tell ya. Running around, eatin' up those dots, making that wakka-wakka noise...Damn kids..."
Midweek, the big news was mostly no news, as team owners voted to make instant replay a permanent fixture. (Honestly, who figured this thing was ever going to be stricken from the league rule books?) The vote went 30-2, opposed by William V. Bidwell's Arizona Cardinals (who consistently vote "no" on any changes involving instant replay or the Pottsville Maroons) and the Cincinnati Bengals ' Mike Brown, whose attorneys entered a vote of "nolo contendere."
Voted down on was a proposal to allow the installation of communications equipment in defensive players' helmets. The players' union saw eye-to-eye with the owners on this one, as many middle linebackers complained of hearing eerie voices advising them to switch formation, shift left, take a pay cut and orders in Mandarin Chinese to assassinate Bill Belichick.
Further rule changes include making necessary actually having to cross the pylon with the ball to score a TD in the corner of the end zone (Again, who knew?); a loosening of certain elements of the roughing-the-passer penalty; and making a pass that unintentionally hits an offensive lineman no longer a penalty. Call it the posthumous Drew Bledsoe rule.
By now, it's dusty cliché to refer to the NFL as the "No Fun League," but owners further cemented their reputation as joyless old codgers by deciding Thursday that "spiking the ball or launching it into the air after a play between the goal lines will result in a 5-yard penalty."
A compromise proposal put forth by the Bengals' brain trust which suggested consideration of time off for good behavior be given in each instance was voted down.
Over at NFL.com, Atlanta Falcons General Manager Rich McKay was noted to state, "Really, it had just gotten to the point where we were having celebrations on a 3-yard slant play where the receiver decided to get up and throw the ball 30 yards downfield in celebration of this 'great' achievement."
Note the dismissive quote marks there. Gee, we all can't wait to see McKay run the trivial 3-yard slant in the NFL, eh?
McKay's quote continued with, "We felt that administratively it was causing problems for us..."
Huh? What, somebody's secretary is complaining about paperwork that has to be done because form NFLRACQA (NFL Random Acts of Celebration Quotient Accountancy) #7334-5 has to be filled out every time there's an on-field celebration? Administratively...? Sheesh.
Finally, the feel-good story of the year in the NFL was thusly rewarded with the bestowal of the Sporting News' NFL Executive of the Year award to the New Orleans Saints ' Mickey Loomis. All league execs could be voted for, except seven-time winner Matt Millen, who last year was ruled ineligible for further wins in the category. At that time, the Detroit GM was given a Lifetime Achievement award for his invaluable contributions to the success of 31 NFL teams.
Loomis won the prize by a near-unanimous vote of league owners and fellow executives. Sole opposition came from the Bengals' Brown who, when asked about the decision, took the fifth and went back to patiently digging his way out of his hotel room with a spoon.