Post by TheShadow on Mar 10, 2004 19:23:36 GMT -5
----- Original Message -----
From: "Mike N." <palindrome(spam)@cablespeed.com>
Newsgroups: alt.sports.football.pro.baltimore
(BALTIMORE) March 4, 2004
4:30 PM
WIRE - Disgruntled San Francisco wide receiver Terrell Owens openly slammed
his new team, the Baltimore Ravens, after discovering the Philadelphia
Eagles had nearly closed a deal for the mercurial star. Apparently Owens
and his agent were apparently operating under the assumption that Owens'
s hit no longer stinks.
Offered his agent, "We are certain that Terrell's s hit no longer stinks, and
that we can negotiate a better offer with the Philadelphia Eagles. The fact
that Baltimore controls his contract and that one of Terrell's size 14's is
lodged deep in my colon are minor inconveniences to negotiating a better
offer for Terrell, at this point.".
Ravens GM Ozzie Newsome countered, "Terrell's s hit does indeed still stink,
and we now control his future. I am not bothered by disgruntled players
with stinky s hit. I deal with that every season. A few seasons ago Ray Lewis
had stinky s hit, but his is now odor free and as fresh as that f*ggy little
fabric softener bear."
Ravens players, when told of being disrespected by Terrell Owens, fired
back. Chris McAlister replied, "Hey man, if TO didn't disrespect us, I
couldn't respect him, you know? I mean, it takes a real man to direspect
his teammates, and you gotta respect that, you know what I mean? He's
keepin it real. If he wasn't willing to stand up and say he didn't want any
part of being a Raven, I wouldn't want him to be a Raven.".
Team leader Ray Lewis added, "TO - man, I love you brother. I know what you
feeling. Your disrespect for me and my Ravens brothers is as real as it gets
man, and we respect you for that and love you man. If you line up with us as
a Raven, we'll love you man, but if you are willing to stand up and say you
hate us, well that's takes a special man, and we'll love you even more.".
Added Coach Brian Billick, "The team is excited to have a new high impact
player, a volatile player, an explosive player. That said, we are also
excited to add that volatility to a stable franchise and screw the works up.
That said, his new teammates are excited to have a Terrell Owens on the
roster. A player to "dis them" as it were and strip away the complacency of
team unity and team goals. That said, the team would not expect Terrell
Owens to be anything other than Terrell Owens, and to bring the drama and
excitement of ripping apart a close knit team fabric. That said, I have
nothing else to say."
When asked to comment, Owens issued the following statement, "Terrell Owens
is not issuing a statement. If he decides to issue a statement, Terrell will
call you back whe he feels like it. And my, uh, his s hit does not stink.".
From: "Mike N." <palindrome(spam)@cablespeed.com>
Newsgroups: alt.sports.football.pro.baltimore
(BALTIMORE) March 4, 2004
4:30 PM
WIRE - Disgruntled San Francisco wide receiver Terrell Owens openly slammed
his new team, the Baltimore Ravens, after discovering the Philadelphia
Eagles had nearly closed a deal for the mercurial star. Apparently Owens
and his agent were apparently operating under the assumption that Owens'
s hit no longer stinks.
Offered his agent, "We are certain that Terrell's s hit no longer stinks, and
that we can negotiate a better offer with the Philadelphia Eagles. The fact
that Baltimore controls his contract and that one of Terrell's size 14's is
lodged deep in my colon are minor inconveniences to negotiating a better
offer for Terrell, at this point.".
Ravens GM Ozzie Newsome countered, "Terrell's s hit does indeed still stink,
and we now control his future. I am not bothered by disgruntled players
with stinky s hit. I deal with that every season. A few seasons ago Ray Lewis
had stinky s hit, but his is now odor free and as fresh as that f*ggy little
fabric softener bear."
Ravens players, when told of being disrespected by Terrell Owens, fired
back. Chris McAlister replied, "Hey man, if TO didn't disrespect us, I
couldn't respect him, you know? I mean, it takes a real man to direspect
his teammates, and you gotta respect that, you know what I mean? He's
keepin it real. If he wasn't willing to stand up and say he didn't want any
part of being a Raven, I wouldn't want him to be a Raven.".
Team leader Ray Lewis added, "TO - man, I love you brother. I know what you
feeling. Your disrespect for me and my Ravens brothers is as real as it gets
man, and we respect you for that and love you man. If you line up with us as
a Raven, we'll love you man, but if you are willing to stand up and say you
hate us, well that's takes a special man, and we'll love you even more.".
Added Coach Brian Billick, "The team is excited to have a new high impact
player, a volatile player, an explosive player. That said, we are also
excited to add that volatility to a stable franchise and screw the works up.
That said, his new teammates are excited to have a Terrell Owens on the
roster. A player to "dis them" as it were and strip away the complacency of
team unity and team goals. That said, the team would not expect Terrell
Owens to be anything other than Terrell Owens, and to bring the drama and
excitement of ripping apart a close knit team fabric. That said, I have
nothing else to say."
When asked to comment, Owens issued the following statement, "Terrell Owens
is not issuing a statement. If he decides to issue a statement, Terrell will
call you back whe he feels like it. And my, uh, his s hit does not stink.".