Post by TheShadow on Jan 13, 2004 6:38:27 GMT -5
----- Original Message -----
From: "Mike N." <palindrome(spam)@cablespeed.com>
Newsgroups: alt.sports.football.pro.baltimore,alt.sports.football.pro.cinci-bengals
(Cincinnati,OH)
January, 10, 2004
Cincinatti Bengals Coach Marvin Lewis has indicated that the quarterback
decision will be made before the team opens camp next summer. And
apparently, new assistant coach God will be making the decision.
According to Coach Lewis, "As everyone knows, I run the defense. I needed
someone who could come in and evaluate the quarterback situation and make
the right decision. And, well, with God being all-knowing and everything, I
figured he would be a great one to make the pick."
Current starting quarterback Jon Kitna said he would accept whatever
decision coaches made as God's will. "And if it isn't God's will," he said,
"it will change soon enough."
God could not explain the quote from Kitna, but it is known that God had
been carrying Kitna for years, but recently smote him before the final game
of the season against the rival Browns. Pressure from the recently departed
father of Brett Favre was rumored to have factored in to the decision of God
to decrease His workload.
God and Kitna have apparently resolved their differences with Kitna now
heavily favored to win the starting job. Added Kitna, "Our relationship is
as good as it ever was, but I increased my tithing amount to 25% just to be
sure."
God is expected to have an immediate impact on the Bengals record next year.
Said Kitna, "God is great. He gets us prepared like no other coach can. He
already knows what secondary scheme Cleveland will be using in our first
game next season - and THEY don't even know what it is yet."
From: "Mike N." <palindrome(spam)@cablespeed.com>
Newsgroups: alt.sports.football.pro.baltimore,alt.sports.football.pro.cinci-bengals
(Cincinnati,OH)
January, 10, 2004
Cincinatti Bengals Coach Marvin Lewis has indicated that the quarterback
decision will be made before the team opens camp next summer. And
apparently, new assistant coach God will be making the decision.
According to Coach Lewis, "As everyone knows, I run the defense. I needed
someone who could come in and evaluate the quarterback situation and make
the right decision. And, well, with God being all-knowing and everything, I
figured he would be a great one to make the pick."
Current starting quarterback Jon Kitna said he would accept whatever
decision coaches made as God's will. "And if it isn't God's will," he said,
"it will change soon enough."
God could not explain the quote from Kitna, but it is known that God had
been carrying Kitna for years, but recently smote him before the final game
of the season against the rival Browns. Pressure from the recently departed
father of Brett Favre was rumored to have factored in to the decision of God
to decrease His workload.
God and Kitna have apparently resolved their differences with Kitna now
heavily favored to win the starting job. Added Kitna, "Our relationship is
as good as it ever was, but I increased my tithing amount to 25% just to be
sure."
God is expected to have an immediate impact on the Bengals record next year.
Said Kitna, "God is great. He gets us prepared like no other coach can. He
already knows what secondary scheme Cleveland will be using in our first
game next season - and THEY don't even know what it is yet."