Post by TheShadow on Dec 13, 2003 9:14:43 GMT -5
So the reporter asks the coach, "Is there any truth to the rumor that your new quarterback is dumb?"
The coach replies, "Well, he makes straight A's."
The reporter, suitably impressed, says, "Wonderful!"
"But," says the coach, "his B's are kind of crooked."
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"Did your injury happen when you were on the football team?"
"No, sir, it happened when the football team was on me."
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The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team.
"Can you tackle?" asked the coach.
"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and - in just over nine seconds - he had run a hundred yard dash.
"Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?"
The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
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Back in 1991, Steve Spurrier told Florida Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dormitory had destroyed 20 books.
"But," he said, "the real tragedy is that 15 of them hadn't been colored, yet."
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Is there any truth to the rumor that college football players are assigned uniform numbers based on their SAT score?
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My father is an avid football fan. During a recent season his team got off to a poor start, and almost every Sunday afternoon Dad sat ranting at the TV screen. One day, after shouts of disgust, silence fell. Puzzled, my mother went into the living room to find him quietly watching a World War II movie.
"I just switched over to something that I knew our side would win!" Dad explained.
The coach replies, "Well, he makes straight A's."
The reporter, suitably impressed, says, "Wonderful!"
"But," says the coach, "his B's are kind of crooked."
--------
"Did your injury happen when you were on the football team?"
"No, sir, it happened when the football team was on me."
--------
The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team.
"Can you tackle?" asked the coach.
"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and - in just over nine seconds - he had run a hundred yard dash.
"Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?"
The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
--------
Back in 1991, Steve Spurrier told Florida Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dormitory had destroyed 20 books.
"But," he said, "the real tragedy is that 15 of them hadn't been colored, yet."
--------
Is there any truth to the rumor that college football players are assigned uniform numbers based on their SAT score?
--------
My father is an avid football fan. During a recent season his team got off to a poor start, and almost every Sunday afternoon Dad sat ranting at the TV screen. One day, after shouts of disgust, silence fell. Puzzled, my mother went into the living room to find him quietly watching a World War II movie.
"I just switched over to something that I knew our side would win!" Dad explained.